


Fork in the Road

by wildwordwomyn



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship/Love, Future Fic, Love Triangle, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-11
Updated: 2010-04-11
Packaged: 2017-10-09 15:59:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/89147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildwordwomyn/pseuds/wildwordwomyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared contemplates his marriage to Genevieve and his relationship, or lack thereof, to Jensen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fork in the Road

He looks at the band on his left ring finger and twists it slowly around. The gold catches in the sunlight, throwing off glaring reflections. He blinks hard but still sees stars. Suddenly it hits him then. He is married now. He has said 'I do' and survived, and yet deep inside his belly something itches. Something burns. Genevieve didn't take his last name and why should she? She's an independent woman with a name of her own. He understands. But he wishes it bothered him more that he isn't bothered. Not by the name thing or the fact that she is still living in L.A. while he lives in Vancouver shooting the series.

 

He is married now...

 

~~~~~~~

 

He's having the dream again. The one where he can't make out anything but whispers and screams. The man is on him, inside him, and for a while this alien creature hiding between his veins and his muscles is silent. His hips move of their own accord. They have to. He's filled up until he can barely breathe and the strokes reach so deep, go so slow, he feels like crying, like laughing. He knows it's his voice making those sounds. He knows it's him who's making it clear that if the man stops he will get an earful. It doesn't help, though. He is begging for more with each thrust. He can't help it. Because this is what he is missing.

 

~~~~~~~

 

It was a thing. That's what they both said. Just a way to ease the tension. Back when Jensen lived in their house. (Jensen still called it Jared's but the truth was, and still is, it belongs to Jensen if it belongs to anyone.) He would go up to Jared's room and climb into his California king bed and with one caress they'd be off. Jensen was always on bottom, always receiving, always giving. He let him. He thought it made it less, well, real. Now he realizes Jensen knew him too well even in that way. When he is with his wife he watches her small fingers and her wide mouth and he feels all the ways she is not him. This is where the dreams come in.

 

~~~~~~~

 

On their one-year anniversary Jared buys her a diamond ring and a bouquet of roses made out of sterling silver. She shouts with glee and her dark brown eyes sparkle as his dim. (Gifts, he thinks, fitting for a queen. God, a whole year...) He smiles while she pretends to smell the roses but he wonders what he would've gotten Jensen on _their_ one-year anniversary. He wouldn't have felt the need to spend so much. Guess that's what guilty people do. He doesn't resent her. Yet. He's pretty sure he will soon enough. Jensen would've said, "I got all I need right here, Jay." And he would've meant it without question. That's Jensen. When he does let himself show emotion the richness of the moment fills him with satisfaction.

 

~~~~~~~

 

One day after a long shoot he goes home and almost picks up the phone. Dani is in town and he won't intrude but a second passes where he feels jealous enough to consider it. Dani is like Gen. Curves and softness and femininity. He is secretly attracted to her. How could he not be with Jensen's taste in beautiful women? But what he's attracted to most is her proximity to him, her shared intimacy. He wonders if Jensen whimpers in her ear or if she takes the time to tease him slowly before letting him orgasm. He wonders if Jensen lets her inside or if that act was reserved solely for him. No one could touch him like Jared did. That's what he told him. He doesn't think it's true but he sure hopes so. Only now, after a year of being 'only friends' again he wants to find out if it's still true. He wants to let Jensen slide home and mark him as his...


End file.
